Crypto trading hamster grows a portfolio by 30%

Mr. Goxx, a crypto trading hamster, has managed to grow his portfolio by 29% in three months, from $390 to $498, just running in the cage. The maximum amount of his assets (before the latest cryptocurrency price drop) was $580.

As Protos says, the hamster crypto trader outperformed Bitcoin, the S&P 500, and even Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway.

How it works

Goxx’s trading office is his box. It is connected to a computer that allows the hamster to trade cryptocurrencies. The hamster chooses one of about 30 cryptocurrencies by running in his “intention wheel.”

He then goes through two tunnels — Decision-Tunnel BUY and Decision-Tunnel SELL. The buy tunnel purchases €20 of the selected crypto, and the sell tunnel liquidates the entire position.

The hamster live streams his trades live on Twitch. Also, he has a Twitter page and updates a thread on Reddit.

Despite the randomness of his trading tactics, Mr. Goxx has made impressive profits this month. Here are just some of his best trades:

• Chiliz (CHZ) bought for $23.60 sold for $36.44 (+54%).
• Pantos (PAN) bought for $23.57 sold for $35.33 (+50%).
• Dogecoin (DOGE) bought for $23.79 sold for $34.80 (+46%).

In some cases (due to the hamster’s current box setup), Mr. Goxx buys cryptocurrency and then immediately sells it, often losing a few cents. But overall, this hamster’s portfolio is performing better than bitcoin, the S&P 500, ARK Innovation, and even Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway.